Wow, a joint effort for letter of the week!

First, Kassie

"if you cared about the fans of american idol, you would be nicer"

If AI cared about their fans, that would be nice, too.

"but no your all freakin RETARDS who have nothing better to do than bash amaazing role models"

As opposed to being a fantard that has nothing better to do than bash this site. And as for AI contestants being "amaazing ROLE MODELS"? Please.

"who deserve to be worshipped almost."

Almost is right.

"so be greatful your little sight is still up because it could explode any sec becaus it sucks because you guys made it suck because it does.

It could, because it does, because we did, because it does... What?!!

"natty's mom is a freakin lawyer and she coudl SUE you for this stuff so dont feel so safe you retards"

So now for the tag-team letter, from Natty:

"you guys aren't very nice AT ALL."

Are too, so there!

"I'm gonna tell on you I bet my mom could shut down ur dumb site."

I think it would be better for everyone if she shut down your computer instead.

"dont worry youll thank me later when AI is all succesful without your bull crap blogs and stuff."

We'll thank your mom later, when she shuts down all your bull crap and stuff.

"you guys should get a lot out of your LAST week running this frogged up site because it WILL MOST DEFINITLY be shut down by this time next week so HAVE FUN YOU WEASEL BRANES"

Well, you're partially right, this will be the last week of choosing a worst, because America's close to choosing for themselves.

And how did you find out my real name, anyway?

"Weasel" Branes

"You guys are just retards

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not yours truly, -Felicia"

Let's see, all words spelled correctly, short sentence structure, coherent thought, use of punctuation...

I don't see anything wrong with this letter, do you?

BTW, Felicia, check your meds? You seem to have frozen up there for a second or two. If not on meds, get some. That spastic twitch is getting worse.

About your comment "If david wins you guys better be ashamed."

Looks like we're REALLY in trouble, now.

Felicia - We're all very scared that someone named Felicia (might as well be named Miley) is going to show up at our houses and beat us down, I lose sleep.

Samantha - There should be a law against using the phrase "dumddy head"

Allie - My mom's basement is nice, and buttwelding isn't as bad as you'd think, you should try it!

Cindy - How do you know my Grandma can sing? Are we related? Awesome, see you at the reuinion!

Stephen - C'mon, best in idol history? Really? You think that? Can anyone actually think that? I mean I've heard of lying to yourself but, really? Seriously?

Cassy - According to you, any discussion that doesn't have to do with politics or social economic status is null and void? Stop trying to act smart and self-righteous, VFTW is just as much a guilty pleasure to you as it is to everyone else.

Natty - It's called freedom of speech, Nigel couldn't even shut down VFTW, how is your mom going to? Her "brane" probably isn't "weasel" enough to pull it off.

Forgot about Kassie

Worship? Really? Let's pray to David A:

Dear Lord David, please help me today from breathing too heavily when the pressures on, from curling up in the corner when Daddy gets mad that my C# was a little off. Help me to be corny, and teach me how to stare blindly and smile at harsh critism. Also, I'd like a new puppy. Amen

'punch of posers'?? Sounds good - nothing like a glass of poser punch after I buttweld myself to my mother. I'm such a dumddy head - must have weasel branes because I can't see how Syesha is an overgrown fat lady.

Cindy - You're mad at this site so you tell us off but then say thanks for reading? Are you Canadian or something? Just want to get my facts straight...

Hahaha! I love it - keep 'em coming fantards!

Okay...

Felicia, Samantha, Kassie and Natty are all repeat mailbag ho's. Y'all must REALLY love this site! I think you send great fun mail EVERY week. Thank you for your support!

Kassie and Natty: good because......we have our very own lawlers here! *anticipating exciting lawsuite* And, speaking of lawsuites.... shouldn't you be smart enough to keep your discriminatory conduct toward those with disabilities in check? Watch your terminology, girls! And, really, did both of you learn to spell at the same school? What school is that, because we all want to make sure our children never attend it.

Brad: retardid? is this like *seariously*? or *definitly*? Did you also attend the same school as Kassie and Natty?

Seriously, do some of these people misspell on purpose, or are kids these days just simply THAT stupid? (I mean, stoopid)

Love the love mail! Of course, I love the hate mail too

The only thing funnier than making fun of american idol are the people who complain about this site.

Syesha was looking pretty good last night. Milquetoast boy's music was made for elevators. He is VFTW material at its best. Simon wants no part of this kid and it's pretty predictable that he will prop up Cook next week for the sake of the show.

Nah, I'm with you.

And "Anthony"'s comment is a repost - check the last one here: Mailbag 5/14.

Sad day when VFTW is as fake as AI.

On the other hand, if even half of these emails are real, then it's an even sadder day for America.

Allie - Your obsession with butts frightens me.

Brad - Hey now, DBZ was a cool show. You can take control of my mind and my body, but there is one thing a Saiyan always keeps... his PRIDE! - Vegeta

Nickie - I'm finding it takes MORE beer to make the show tolerable. Although some pretty nifty drinking games can spice up the viewing party as well. I don't recommend doing a shot per Archie gasp though.

Cindy - Please send us your pic.

Stephen - I'm already famous. Don't you know who I am?

Kassie - Thou shalt not worship false idols.

Matt in Paris - Idol: One more reason for the French to dislike us huh.

Cassy - How much did you donate to Idol Gives Back? Stuff a sock head in it Mother Theresa.

Natty - Oh cool, a Weasel Brane to go with my Half a Brian.

Anthony - Yep, VFTW is the only thing that keeps me watching Idol.

All of those exclamation points on Felciia's poost are fucking with my screen. Could we please take them off and replace it with "[288 exclamation points]"?

And, before anyone asks---no, I did a cut-and-paste character count :D