Hey kids who post messages in the mailbag!

Even know how to threaten VFTW with lawsuits and shutting down the site?

Do your parents know you are posting here?

Well what if I turn it around and instead tell on you!!!

I will also show your moms and dads the foul inappropriate language and provocative pictures of yourselves you put up on your and your friends' myspace pages.

Be scared. Be very scared.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dear Allie -

I don't think David's daddy will let him marry anyone who uses words like "butthole" and "buttweld."

Sadly Matt, it's an even sadder day for America. The letters are in fact for real.

So much for no child left behind eh? Looks like a lot of them were left at the bus station.

Magooish

Dear Natty and Kassie -

If Natty's lawler of a mom were to file a law suite against the web site, I think she would quickly become acquainted with sanctions for filing a frivolous suit.

" im not allowed to cuss but if i was I would freaking cuss up a storm here and jam it up your a** you buttholes, i hate all of you all you do is waste your stupid a** time writing a bunch of sh** about archuleta you stupid buttholes, i HATE you all you FREAKING BUTTWELDS living in your freaking mothers basements buttwelding yourself to her a** that i came over there and KICKED!! BUTTHOLES!

-Allie"

Allie,

While you may be getting away with a technicality on the swearing issue, I've forwarded a written copy of this bleeped out fake cussing letter to your mom via Us registered mail. Only she can sign for it, so frankly my dear, you're screwed.

Magooish

The assembly line of uneducated, incoherent, emotionally underdeveloped and annoying teenage girls is never-ending.

Felicia - Oh no! Please Jeebus don't let her find out where I live! I don't want her to give me a real good beaten! The only thing I'm going to hang is a big juicy corn-n-peanut log right over your head.

Samantha - There should be laws against sites like this that freely express opinions without creating physical danger. We should implement them. Then we should rename our government The Fourth Reich. Or The House Of Dumddy Heads.

Mathea - Well, coherency and knowing how to use exclamation points apparently isn't it.

Allie - Show your mom your letter and ask her if she's proud of you for not cussing. Also, turn on your web cam and then put what happens on youtube.

Brad - are you SURE you want to be in this group? Do you REALLY want to be an annoying teenage girl?

Cindy - Syesha fat? Oh my god, Cindy. I don't even want to imagine what your anorexic body looks like. Get help. You and Brooke. And what "facts straight" are you speaking of? You do realize that this is entirely an opinion-based forum, right? You know what the difference between a fact and an opinion is, right? I know you at least know the difference between digesting and purging is.

Stephen - Best. In. History. Wow. You need to go turn in your Man Card RIGHT NOW.

Kassie - role models? Kassie, do you know any of these people personally? Thank you for embodying what is wrong with teenage girls today. And yes, we are very greatful. This whole site is full of great. As for natty's mom, ask her to sue us. Make sure you film the conversation on your web cam and then put it on youtube.

Cassy - GET THE FUCK OFF OF YOUR HIGH HORSE. Sorry about the foul language, but you REALLY deserve it. Do you feel like a hero right now? Seriously. I'm sure most of us are concerned with what's going on in the world. When I'm putting gas in my car, hell yes I'm concerned about gas prices. And hell yes I'm concerned about our troops. But guess what? I can talk about those things with my friends anytime and do so. But Cassy - may I talk about American Idol too? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE? May I live in a world where I can be concerned about what's going on AND have some fun talking about a TV show? Fuck you, Cassy.

Natty - awwwww, what a cute little stupid kid. It looks like the apple fell from the tree and rolled down a very large, steep hill.

how could archie be worse than those other two schmucks?????????? on one hand we have syesha.....the overgrown fat lady who is worse at singing than your grandmother at a f*cking wedding... then we have david cook who looks dirty and wears *$#@%%$@ necklaces like hes &;^$%&;$* elvis, You guys need to get your FACTS STRAIGHT before making a websight like this, thanks for reading

-Cindy.

My favorite of the bunch, although if this constant barrage of mailbag posts doesn't stop soon, I may OD on stupid (as well as crack, according to one mailbagger).

So why is this one my favorite? Cindy calls Syesha an "overgrown fat lady." Syesha? Fat? Are you joking, Cindy? I'm willing to bet that Syesha could bench press you, Cindy. I'm very curious as to whether you yourself are:

a) a young tweener who has already begun starving herself and puking up her Taco Bell in order to live up to an unrealistic body image created by the media and the fashion industry.

b) a young, fat tweener who hates herself and her body so much that she must lash out at all other women in order to feel better about herself.

c) just your average, run of the mill, hateful tweenage girl who has to tear down all other females because that's what she sees portrayed by the ridiculous teen idols of her day, such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Duff, etc.

d) all of the above.

Also, David Cook is like Elvis because he wears necklaces? Of course, because when I think Elvis, the first thing that pops into my head is "Necklaces!" Not sequined jumpsuits, pompadours, sideburns, capes, blue seude shoes, or any of the other multitude of iconic accessories associated with the King of Rock 'n' Roll. No, I think necklaces!

But you're right, Cindy. We are the ones who need to get our facts straight.

These tweentards I think are the same folks that call the radio show LOVELINE and ask Dr Drew if they can get pregnant if they have anal sex.

DUH!!!

I love how every letter threatens harm to us.

Watching Fantasia perform, THAT ENOUGH WAS HARMFUL!!!

Thank god this nightmare is about to end and I am not even going to watch the finale.

I wish they had some sex scandal on the show to spice it up!!!!

I think of elvis and I think of the toilet he died on and the crazy stuff he did like shooting the TV and that in the city I live, we have ELVIS PRESLEY BLVD.

David Cook, I picture wannabe emo rocker!!!!!

I love when people who call us dummy and retarded can't spell dummy and retarded.

<i>Nobody likes you so you should stop and hang yourself what your doin is wrong and im going to laugh when you guys get your ass beaten cause if i knew where you lived i would give you a real good beaten so watch it.</i>-Felicia

I think we have a budding dominatrix here. Learn to channel that anger, sweetie. There are guys who'll pay good money for a "real good beaten."

Spank Me, F$@* Me, Felicia. I am a glutton for punishment!!!