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Scott Baio
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 8:01 AM
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I love the Idols so much. It's really hard to contain all of the joy that I have in my heart, a bright shining light that was placed there by only them. Archie is my sun, my moon, my stars in the sky. His sweet, innocent little visage awakens me every morning from the poster taped above my ceiling, and as soon as I see that sweet face, I know that each and every day is going to be beautiful, and the world is a beautiful place because Archie is in it.  The other Idols are swell too, and I am thankful every day that most of them were eliminated before my dear, sweet Archie. Even though David Cook won the competition, I still got to see just as much of Archie since he also performed all the way to the end of the season. That at least offers me some consolation for Archie not being crowned the true American Idol, King of Men, and God Of the Realm. Knowing in my heart that the government orchestrated the outcome of the contest is what allows me to keep the voices and evil urges at bay. You see, if Archie had indeed won the contest, his followers would have surely risen up in a joyous fervor and slain all non-believers, drinking their blood and taking their scalps in the name of our new god, King David Archuleta I, His Most Holy Creator and Divine Light of the Universe. While I know this to be true (it was spelled out to me in a message in my bowl of corn flakes one morning), and I know that the CIA secretly stepped in to stop it, I still know in my heart that the Mighty Corn Flake Prophecy of 2008 will one day come true, and King Archie will rise above the earth in a flash of light to spread happiness and Mormonism to all who accept it. The rest will be scalped, and we'll drink their blood. Have a blessed day!
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pererau
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 8:52 AM
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Location: Washington
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I hate to point out the elephant in the room, but you watch this show. I'm just saying.
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thefunnystone
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 9:15 AM
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Administrator
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I said losers who watch the show. I am a winner. One who does not obsess over a game show contestant's every move or try to stalk them to get their phone numbers. This is certain.
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sublymonal
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 11:43 AM
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Location: Toronto, ON
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I hate to point out the obvious - but it's the Archie fans that are crazy. And it's partially Vote for the Worst's fault for fueling their crazy fire. But yes, the woman with the mass-murder sign needs to be locked up.
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Aggrieved
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 1:13 PM
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Location: Flying the coop
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Vote for the Worst is encouraging Archutards to find his family's phone number, wish death upon David Cook and roam hotel corridors searching for their hero? Must have missed that part of the site. We mock, they stalk. Big difference.
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Smartie
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 1:14 PM
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Anorexia Face
Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O
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Actually, it's any tard who goes stalking these people who is crazy, no matter who they're a fan of. And don't try to blame us for it - we're the ones slapping the tards down and telling them to get a grip. And you can point that accusing finger at 19E for not supplying proper security, and the hotel. If they spent some money on properly trained staff to make sure everyone is safe, this would NOT have happened.
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smarterthanpickler
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 1:21 PM
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Administrator
Location: Lazaro's Pants!
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sublymonal, I'm busy right now so I'll just quickly say you're a moron. I'll come back later for a more comprehensive flaming.
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begemot
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 1:30 PM
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Location: Lakewood, Ohio
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LOLERSKATES! Yes, the fantards' idiot reactions are so /totes/ our fault, guize!
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palmtreesnpapayas
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 2:05 PM
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sublymonal, it's people like you why shit like this happens. VFTW didn't tell anyone to stalk the idols in their hotels. VFTW didn't tell anyone to search for David Archuleta's phone number. Maybe you should put the blame ENTIRELY on your fellow tards for being so fucking selfish and stupid. their parents should be knocking the shit out of them right about now. partially to blame? what are you on?
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jasoncastro
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Posted: 7/21/2008 at 2:47 PM
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Location: California
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The woman who made the sign about David Cook needs to be put in a straight jacket. I actually like some of the contestants, and despite my dislike for some of them, I think it's ridiculous that they're being stalked and shot with water guns. People are so damn crazy nowadays. By the way, ScottBaio, your post was pure genius. I almost thought you were a fantard before I read the name.
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Now don't get us wrong. Carly Smithson annoys us too. We don't particularly care for most of this year's top 10. But the always ridiculous American Idol fans (the very same ones who write us hate mail) are now resorting to harassing and stalking the Idols while they tour the country. Creepy. Idletard.com has a great story about all of their idiocy. A girl carried a sign that said, "I killed 12 million people after the American Idol finale. I’m looking for my last victim. Have you seen this man?" that included a picture of David Cook. One person asked David Archuleta to sign a piece of paper that David found to have his family's private phone number on it. And someone shot Michael Johns with a water gun before the Idols got back on their tour bus. Seriously now. We love to make fun of Idol, but we like even more to make fun of the moronic fans. They're certifiable. So watch out on tour, Idols. I'm sure this is only a taste of what's to come from the losers who watch this show. 
