Clay Aiken's Crazy Fans Can Barely Talk About the New Baby

Posted by thefunnystone on Friday, August 08, 2008 at 9:59 AM EDT
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Clay Aiken's fans (the Claymates) are some of the saddest people on the planet. Because most of the Claymates are psychotic nutjobs, Clay's fansite Clay Street has set up some humorous restrictions when discussing his new baby on their site. So if you're looking to express your opinion, you might as well stick here and stay far away from that scary place. At that board, you may only congratulate Clay in a certain thread, you must be respectful of Clay at all times, religion must never enter the conversation, and sexual orientation is forbidden from discussion at the board. And even still, with all of the rules and reminders to "play nice", the old harpies are still bashing each other or going crazy within minutes of the news. Here are 3 hilarious quotes already:

"I am sad for many reasons with this news. First, it saddens me for what has happened to the traditional family. I miss the days of when you dated, got married and then started a family. I realize invitro has helped many couples to bring life into this world but with anything I believe it can be taken too far. I am a fan of Clay's because of his self professed faith and beliefs. I have always supported him and his choices, however, this choice I cannot support. There is no doubt that this child will be loved and cared deeply for, but I hold strong to the value of marriage and strong to the family unit. I can no longer support him which makes me sad. I wish him and Jaymes the best, but totally disagree and am very disappointed in Clay."

"...what many fans are wondering is, is Clay really the person he has always said he is? A normal man and a grandmother-aged woman, not romantically involved but choosing to clinicly have a child together because each wants one seems selfish....and odd....to many. I'm trying to word this in a way that gets my point across but won't get edited.... ok, if Clay is who he says he is, is he going to marry someone else someday and have children with his wife? People are always joyous over the birth of a baby, but that's not the only concern here for some fans."

"Is anyone getting anything done today? I'm sure not....I can't seem to focus on anything else. I feel like a new grandmother! I'm squeeing and EEEing over the news! It just gives us one more thing to be proud of as a Clay fan. I forgot to say congratulations to Raleigh and Durham [Clay's dogs] on their new brother. Don't be jealous - Clay has more than enough love to hold you all."


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Scott Baio
Posted: 8/8/2008 at 12:25 PM Reply with quote

Geez, I just went over there and registered and said how happy I was for Clay and Jaymes and how awesome it was that in today's modern world two obviously homosexual adults could spit in the face of God and Jesus and the Bible and conceive a bastard child out of wedlock apparently without ever even having sex with each other, and they got all pissed!

Sensitive much, Claymates?

Okay, not really. I would never post in that freakshow.
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Smartie
Posted: 8/8/2008 at 12:45 PM Reply with quote
Anorexia Face Location: are they ceiling Lauren fat?? :O

It's going to be a tard frenzy in Clayland today :D

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FicklePimp
Posted: 8/8/2008 at 4:51 PM Reply with quote

Oh Baio, you were almost my hero. Almost.
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GialloGuy
Posted: 8/8/2008 at 5:21 PM Reply with quote

I'm sorry, but the whole in-vitro thing creeps me out. Try explaining it to the boy when he starts asking questions about where babies come from.

"Well, son. When a man and a woman love each other, they go to the doctor's office and go into separate rooms.

The daddy watches a movie.

The mommy uses a turkey baster.

Nine months later, a baby comes along."
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jawajedi
Posted: 8/9/2008 at 2:53 AM Reply with quote
Will ideate for food Location: Golden Arches

Creepier still is a real-life sighting of a Claymate in situ at a touristy restaurant last Saturday. Here's a covertly snapped image with my cellphone. The image doesn't do "justice" to the artful collage of Clay photos on her purse. No doubt these were scissored from fan magazines.

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SayNoToPaula
Posted: 8/9/2008 at 5:47 AM Reply with quote
Trying to become comfortably numb Location: Fleet Street

Geez, I just went over there and registered and said how happy I was for Clay and Jaymes and how awesome it was that in today's modern world two obviously homosexual adults could spit in the face of God and Jesus and the Bible and conceive a bastard child out of wedlock apparently without ever even having sex with each other, and they got all pissed!

^^^^ Just want to clarify. I think it should be "adults spitting in the face of people".... Ya know, the claymates/whoever, that take it upon themselves to (mis)interpret and use the bible to fuel their issues. Nowhere in the New Testament is homosexuality even addressed. Not a "Jesus freak" but really believe God/Jesus do not hate anyone. But they do hate what some people do to others - I'm talking to you claymates et al who will not accept. (although good for clayby as hopefully he won't get stalked and pics of him won't wind up on people's purses).

Sorry for long comment. Not trying to get into a religious discussion and knew it was a joke. They need to look at themselves on this issue though.

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Rebel
Posted: 8/9/2008 at 5:52 PM Reply with quote
Location: Hidden from view

I think that the last comment is the scariest. Wanting to address the dogs.

I know several people who loves their dogs, but I have never heard any of them refer to their dogs and kids as siblings.
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manlambda
Posted: 8/9/2008 at 6:05 PM Reply with quote
Location: Maryland

Actually many of us gay men call our dogs are kids just one more proof. :-)
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Rebel
Posted: 8/11/2008 at 4:30 PM Reply with quote
Location: Hidden from view

I don't have a problem with calling the dogs "kids."

My problem is refering to the dogs and kid as "brothers".
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