The road to crowning a Canadian Idol is a lot like cleaning a cesspool; keep removing all the crap till there’s none left. And no one can clean a cesspool like CI. First, they drain the fattest turds at the bottom, like Vanessa Kalala and Jessica Sheppard, and the trannies, like Ryan Mawla and Pappy J. Gordon. Then Canada takes care of removing all the women and minority contestants, until we are left with the two best contestants. But VFTW has thrown a big fat whiney wrench into that equation, as one giant smelly turd still remains as Mitch MacDonald is on the precipice of the greatest Canadian VFTW Victory ever!

Some of you may have missed the point last week when Anne Murray was featured for two days that Canada is the lamest country ever so CTV has decided to reinforce that point tonight as it’s Bryan Adams Week. It’s Labor Day and every day’s a labor for the person who has to haul in the grease for Ben’s hair. Ben asks Jake what the Idols can learn from Bryan Adams, and Jake replies that you’ll get terrible pockmarks if you pick at your skin too much. Ben tells Farley it’s been a long road and asks what he’s learned and Farley says that thanks to Mark Day and Mitch Macdonald, he’s learnt that there’s ALWAYS a worst. Ben reminds us this season (and series) is coming to an end and asks Zack what he’ll do after having no one to humiliate on National TV but Zack’ll be able to take the flaming to an international level once the most Worster judge ever comes home and can be comforted in the warmth that is votefortheworst.com.

While it’s nice having our non-Canadian Worsters along for this trainwreck of a ride known as Canadian Idol 6, it’s time for them to find out why Canada is the lamest country in the World as it’s…hold on to your hats, kiddies…Anne Murray night!!! And our group of four male stoners were so convincing in their rehearsals this week that Brunton’s decided that they’ll be massacring only one Anne Murray song each instead of the originally planned two. Ben asks Sass what she thinks of Four dudes doin’ Anne Murray and she says that Heart has no gender, and neither does Anne Murray. Ben asks Jake if our Idols should prepare differently tonight because they’re doing two songs each instead of the usual one but Jake says They should prepare as normal, meaning that Earl should smoke a pound of weed, Theo should put on a dress and VFTW pick Mitch MacDonald should pump helium up his ass until he’s about to pop.

Sausage lovers line up here as it’s time for our all-male Top 5 on Canadian Idol. Ben tells us it’s Beatles night and that they’re the most influential group ever, having influenced an entire generation of druggies and sex perverts who are now leading our country and businesses. Zack reminds us of when The Beatles said they were Bigger than Christ 40 years, which caused less of an uproar than if American Idol had an openly gay contestant on its show today. Ben asks Jake if The Beatles changed the business of music, and they certainly did by ending the most successful run ever by a music act in 1970 having around two dollars in their bank accounts. Farley talks about our Idols' journey to today, which involves Theo eating about 1000 cases of Kraft Dinner and a whole lot of banging Amberly.