Lip-Licking Lizard Archuleta

Posted by thefunnystone on Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 5:13 PM EDT

Just in case you haven't noticed what we've been pointing out for weeks, a fantard made a video of David Archuleta and his ridiculous habit for sticking his tongue out during his performances. It was funny in a terrible way so we had to post it here. To make his performances bearable in the future, just watch and count how many times he sticks his tongue out to lick his lips. It's way funnier than actually listening to him overmelismafy aother song. Now if only someone would make a video of all of the times he takes big, loud gasps during his songs.

David Archuleta's Stage Dad Has Idol Connections

Posted by thefunnystone on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 6:19 PM EDT

Rumors are circulating that David Archuleta (pictured, left, grinning stupidly with a puppy) is dealing with his dad Jeff Archuleta, the stage dad from hell. But besides the fact that Jeff probably pushes his kid way too hard, he has previous Idol connections. His cached Loopwise page states that his company Arch Music Group has "spent the last 5 years working with American Idol and Star Search performers as well as young up and coming singers and songwriters who want to compete in the top 40 arena." Well we know he probably counts his son as the Star Search performer, but the Idol connection is interesting. As if David didn't already have the previous connection where he met with Idol producers during season one, now his dad has been working with show contestants. We'll do some more digging and let you know what we find out. This season of Idol is like a giant forest... of suck.

VFTW and Danny on The Soup

Posted by thefunnystone on Saturday, March 08, 2008 at 6:32 AM EST

The always hilarious folks at The Soup parodied our site this week and showed us just how much Danny "wasn't likin" being voted of Idol. Oh yeah, that stripper guy and the asthmatic kid is in it too. Check it out!

Bored? Call 323-874-7777

Posted by thefunnystone on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 4:44 PM EST

American Idol is idiotic enough to start the American Idol Live Hotline (323-874-7777). If you call, the voicemail asks for a question you'd like to ask the contestants or judges. It also asks you to leave a phone number so they can call you back. They want to get someone to ask a question live on the air. So feel free to call and attempt this with a fake question, and then switch it up to a VFTW question when you're live! Of course, the "live callers" will probably all be production staff pretending to be callers. So do what we've done so far and just leave the hotline a bunch of funny messages such as

"Did you (GASP) notice that (GASP) David Archuleta (GASP) does this annoying (GASP) gasping (GASP) this during his (GASP) performances?"

"Hey Hernandez, I've got 20 singles with your name on them. Shake it over this way, sweet cheeks."

"Hey Brooke White, this is He-Man. You'll never conquer Eternia. And eat a cheeseburger while you're at it."

Remember, we may not make it on the show, but they still have to go through all of our messages and listen to each one.

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