Not that he ever stood a chance, but Adam Lambert will clearly not have the #1 album next week when it debuts. Amazon.com is reporting that anal sex loving Brit, Susan Boyle, has by far the best presales of any upcoming album. And with Lady Gaga releasing her Fame Monster, Rihanna's Rated R, Shakira's She-Wolf, Beyonce's I Am... Yours all being released that day too, Adam will be lucky to break the top 5.

Thank God Susan Boyle lost Britain's Got Talent to some crappy dance group that can't hold a candle to Fanny Pak. The old windbag is the most overrated karaoke singer probably ever. Since she didn't win, unless the woman is arrested for crapping on herself in public, please, no one mention her ever again. Especially news outlets. We don't care if she dyes her hair or goes to the grocery store. The woman has gotten way more exposure than she needs. No one cares.

A word to the wise. Please stop sending VFTW that fucking stupid YouTube clip of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent. No one cares. After receiving this movie in our e-mail about 10 times a day, something had to be said. Just because the woman is ugly, it doesn't mean that the clip is even remotely interesting. #1: The woman is not that good of a singer. She's a good singer. Nothing amazing. People just think she's amazing because she's butt ugly. #2- The British judges fall over themselves in a ploy to look like the whole thing wasn't staged and planned. It's bad acting. #3- We don't care if she's on Oprah or has a makeover or has been kissed or whatever. Again, the woman is a gimmick to sell a crappy TV show owned by Simon Cowell. #4- The "I'm so ugly yet I can sing" thing was done to death in season 2 of American Idol. If you want to buy music from an unattractive older woman who has a decent Broadway voice, go buy Clay Aiken's newest album.

Again, Susan Boyle is not interesting. She is just a plant on a stupid British television show. And she's getting more press than that Octomom. Why? Because she's hideous looking. If you want to see someone really scary, just go to the Idol tour and check out any random  Adam Lambert frau in the audience.