Welcome to another season of American Idol! Can you believe this site has been running for 9 years? How can this be? Well, this year I have an unavoidable conflict on Thursday nights that makes it impossible for me to watch the show live. Because of this, I'll be back with Dave's False Idols when the voting rounds start, since it would be kind of silly to blog only half of the auditions. STP and Insane will be providing you with bloggy goodness in my absence. But I'll still be tweeting live on Wednesdays @votefortheworst, so feel free to jump on and watch me mock Idol the same as always. I just will be a saner person on Thursdays for a while.

See ya on Twitter and then again in a few weeks!

-Dave

Jordan Dorsey said it best, folks. The finale of Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina could be summed up in 3 words: "No, just no." First, a bad country karaoke singer got up on stage and did some boring song. Then a bad country karaoke singer got up on stage and did some boring song. Then for a little variety, a bad country karaoke singer got up on stage and did a boring song. The passable moments included Lauren Alaina singing to her freakish mother and Scotty singing a song called "Love You This Big" that basically makes it sound like he has an erection. It was funny how neither singer really looked like they were trying at all. And why should they? They didn't have to improve all season because all they got was positive feedback. So why put in effort for the finale? I also enjoyed Taio Cruz coming out and singing in autotune, his microphone going out, and then when it came back the autotune wasn't working correctly and his hideous vocals were completely exposed. 

Really, I can't write any more than that because there's nothing to work with when you have these two. But I will say that this was the best season of American Idol ever. Between Paul's rose suits, Haley and Casey growling. Naima's boom fire, Rachel's cape, Brett's apples, Jacob looking in the mirror, and so much more, it's been one hell of an entertaining ride. And now with the finale coming down to 2 awful country singers who have no shots at careers, I have to officially declare American Idol 10 a VFTW Victory! Thanks for reading my blog this year and thanks for everything. Watching this shit with all of the Worsters has made this season one awesome riot.

When the top 3 have to sing 3 songs a piece, I just count my blessings that Haley is still here and there’s still a little excitement left. I mean how many boring country ballads can one person take? Scotty starts off with “Amazed” by Lonestar and it’s a typical, boring Scotty performance. When he hits the higher notes, it’s a struggle and he loses his place in the song. Other than that though, there’s nothing to say as I fell asleep 2 or 3 times during the performance. Steven says he kicked the song into the middle of next week. Jennifer says that Scotty has grown a lot since the beginning of the show. Randy says there were pitchy spots, but he put a period at the end of the song. And we all know how much every girl loves when it’s time for her period.

The top 4 got to sing songs that inspire them along with Leiber and Stoller songs. Really, the song choices were pretty boring and predictable. But two things about this episode were fantastic- The first was Lady Gaga. She gave every contestant hilarious advice that made them way more VFTW worthy than they would’ve been without her. When I slipped her that note a week ago and told her to mentor the contestants, I didn’t know she’d follow through. Well played, Ms. Gaga. Well played. The second awesome part of the episode was Haley Reinhart's attitude. I just love this girl's sass. She serves it up stone cold and isn't taking crap from anyone. That's the mark of a truly awesome VFTW pick.