Melanie Amaro wins X Factor. Now it's time for a massive diet.

Josh Krajcik finishes second. Back to the burito stand.

Chris Rene finishes third. A major disappointment like this is enough to make one relapse.

Final shows like tonight's are way too boring to blog about as all that remains are just boring generic contestants who've gotten this far because of tards and fraus so instead let's take a look back at the most VFTW moments on this season's show. When we first heard X Factor was coming to America we were very hopeful as The UK version of the show is so VFTW-friendly but things got off to a horrible start due to a repulsive amount of over-hype that turned off a lot of people before the show even got started. And things didn't get much better from there as this show had little of the VFTW magic the UK version does and we landed up with basically the exact same final we'd see on American Idol. But in all this dullness there were a few brave souls who let their Worster Flags fly by having meltdowns in front of the entire nation, going on mad rants about Jesus and refusing to sing so let's look back at the most VFTW moments of the past season...

Chris S-A-F-E!

Josh Krajcik and Marcus Canty (naturally!) Bottom 2. Marcus finally eliminated. He says it's not over for him. It is over, Marcus.

The Finals is basically Jordin and Blake again, with a more decrepit Taylor Hicks thrown in. VFTW's going to try to get Chris to win because it'll be funny to see what happens if Chris gets a quick $5 million in his pocket!

We're ready for the final four famewhores to battle it out, but not before reliving Rachel's and Nicole's epic meltdowns in front of the entire nation last week that's just as enjoyable the hundreth time I'm seeing it as it was the first! Steve Jones tells us the contestants will be doing a song chosen by the public, unless Melanie doesn't get the song Simon wants, then it'll be cancelled until next week like it was last one. Here come the judges, and Nicole's still getting booed for what she did last week. Mr. Bottom Two Marcus Canty gets the death spot because this fodder has long passed its best-by date. There's no Bottom 2 for Marcus to be in this week so I think he's going to be in a new group...Bottom 1. Accompanied by Zombie dancers, Marcus is doing a throwaway version of I'll Make Love To You and no one's going to want to make love to Marcus with attrocious singing and falshitto like this.

Chris Rene is next and America needs to pick something really VFTW for him. While some Vanilla Ice would've been best, we'll have to settle for the second suckiest with Sugar Ray, featuring VFTW Hall Of Famer Mark McCrap. Chris is singing I Wanna Fly and things may really be flyin' if our boy lands up with a quick 5 mil in his pockets next week!