Hello Ladies and Gentleman,

Does this show make you physically tired, or is it just me?  Name another TV show on any channel that exhausts you by the end of an episode?  You can't.  Only Idol.  

Class is back in session thanks to some liberal TiVo juggling.  Man, this Idol shift to Wednesdays and Thursdays really has thrown me for a loop.  I had to cut off the last 16 minutes of Top Chef, bump Top Model off our Queue, record the 2 AM Daily Show, and finagle the Season Manager to tape the later airing of Justified just to squeeze in this two hour snore-fest  And I refuse to cancel Community or Big Bang to record Thursday Idol so no, thankfully I can't watch the horrible, horrible Idol Results Show, even if I want to. 

I've been so out of it that I didn't even realize the bad singing had started yesterday. Whoops!  I'm glad we decided to rally around Red-Haired Kenny G.  I can't wait to actually hear him sing terribly as our Worst.

But luckily (or unluckily, depending on your tolerance for horrible R&B Diva screeching) the Idol Girls stick to their tradition of singing awful ballads AND boring me to tears.  So basically, they suck in non-entertaining ways.  

Since most of these people will never be seen again I'm not going to look up names, song titles, or hometowns or ages.  I'm writing this review without a safety net.  Can you smell the danger?  

Here we are once again...  We've barely survived another terrible season of Idol.  They seem to be defying logic and reason as they keep getting worse, don't they?  I mean, there has to be a ground floor of Worst, doesn't there?  You know, the very bottom of the barrel nadir of all cheeseball, amateur singing contests that Idol just can't get worse than?  Well, if it's one maxim that is proven time and again by VFTW and Idol, there is always a Worst.  

Funny how everybody and their mother has been predicting these two in the finals since the very first week of voting.  Way to make this season unpredictable, Idol Producers.  I really should've just written "Crystal wins" for my first review and taken the rest of the season off.  Just like Simon, only he's getting paid $50 mill to barely put forth an effort.  

This season continues to play out the string in uninteresting and unexciting fashion.  The Final Three/Hometown episode is exhibit A for the fact that the Idol Producers sure have given up on this hopelessly crappy season.  Instead of scenes of fan mayhem and the Idols receiving the keys to the city from the town mayor, each of the Idols is stuck out front of an ATT store in Burbank with a dozen bored extras pretending to get excited.  Okay, I'm kidding, they might have actually been in their home cities, but all ATT stores look alike, so I'm leaning towards my Burbank theory.