We did it, Worsters! 132 million votes were cast last night, and in the end, we helped the fifth straight white guy with a guitar win American Idol. It seemed daunting at the beginning of the season, but we succeeded yet again and helped make sure Pinoybot Jessica Sanchez was left in the loser's circle. Apparently the curse of Kristy Lee Cook is even stronger than we thought - her horse must be laughing his way through the glue factory.
The guy who chewed gum on stage. The guy who gave Ryan Seacrest bunny ears every chance he got. The guy who didn't care about the songs he picked. The guy who didn't listen to Tommy Hilfiger. The guy who sang the same way every single week. The guy who multiple times on stage said that he couldn't sing as well as everyone else. He is our American Idol. Yes, he is. And we helped him achieve that goal. The cherry on the cake is that he's going to miss a lot of the tour due to his health problems - the winner of season 11 won't even be on most of the tour! The tour's booking manager must be furious.
Check back next year, when we help #wgwg6 win the show. If you are a wgwg, you must try out for the show and we will make sure you win.
And make sure you bid on the official VFTW American Idol caricatures. Now that Phillip has won, his caricature is a real collector's item!
EDITED TO ADD: #wgwg5 is trending on Twitter in the US and White Guy With Guitar is trending Worldwide. The vocabulary we make up is taking over the world.