Frau Alert
Clay Aiken FINALLY Comes out of the Closet and Admits He's Gay
Via Perez Hilton, this is the new cover of People with Clay Aiken finally admitting he's gay. It's about time. But we give him credit because we thought he'd just pretend forever. So, good on you Clay. This will be deliciously sweet to watch his fundie Claymates freak out now. We'll keep you posted with all of the entertaining highlights.
- 16 comments
- Read more
Jason Castro's Fans Bought Him That New Computer
Well, after Stoner complained that his laptop broke, we told his fans that it would be idiotic to buy him a new one as he has plenty of money and can do it himself. I mean, who accepts large gifts from total strangers? But inevitably, some hideous frau named Sherry bought Jason that laptop so that Jason would give her a shoutout and she could cream her panties. What a great cause... Let the stoner get his own laptop. Jason does not yet realize that Sherry has planted a tracking device on the laptop to come hunt him down when he least expects it. But I guess that's what you get when you accept gifts from lunatics.
Greedy Jason Castro and His Fans Deserve a Smackdown
A really disgusting trend has popped up regarding Jason Castro and his family. It appears that they are milking his idiot fans for money... and the fans are going along with it. It appears that his fans bought Jason's family free flights to Los Angeles among other things, and now the fans are raising money to purchase him a computer because he's complaining that his isn't working well. Can't these idiot fans think of something better to do with their money? Castro is going to pocket enough money from the Idol tour to buy himself his own damn computer. Michael Johns and David Cook have been much more tactful and are encouraging their fans to send any donations to Luke Menard's family, as Luke is currently battling cancer and his medical bills are very high. David and Michael have shown themselves to have class, and it's commendable. This has just led the Castrotards to fight amongst themselves over who deserves money more, and it's pretty hilarious. We'll spell it out for you... you are an idiot if you buy Jason Castro a computer. And Jason is ridiculous to encourage his fans to do this. When will it end? No time soon. Now Ramiele is posting blogs, sad that she doesn't have a guitar. Buy your own damn guitar, woman. You people are sad.
Idiot Fantards are Still Stalking the Idols
Ramiele Malubay posted a blog on her MySpace that the idiot fantards are still stalking the Idols. Where are these kids' parents? Where is Idol security? Or hotel security? Seriously, what is wrong with people? Anyway, her blog:
Now to my oh so random blog. Yesterday as I was doing my after shower routine getting ready while still in my towel, with my music on, I heard running up and down the halls. I was assuming it was the bellman since it was near bag call time. So just to make sure i told my bf (whom I had been on the phone with the whole time having a full on conversation) that I would look out to see what was going on. I looked through the peep hole and there were two kids around probably 10-13 outside my door with their ears stuck on it. I was SO MAD.This is where NICE ramiele goes away. It was a total invasion of privacy, I was on the phone for one, and two, when we arent on the bus the hotels we're put up in are our homes. So why in the world would they think it was okay to do that. I then screamed through the door and said "Can I freaking help you" I was mad. What people dont seem to understand that when we are on tour the buses are our homes but the hotel's we're put up at are our homes as well, even if for that one night. Im happy to sign autographs 24/7 and take pictures if capable but not in our homes. Its as if someone would go to our front yard look through the window and holler at you to come out and sign for them. Its just not human. And completely disrespectful. I really was so bummed that people would stoop so low. Anyways we've been informed that from that point on we are not allowed to stop for pictures and autographs at our hotels. So there should be no point to be making your way to the hotels.
Clay Aiken's Crazy Fans Can Barely Talk About the New Baby
Clay Aiken's fans (the Claymates) are some of the saddest people on the planet. Because most of the Claymates are psychotic nutjobs, Clay's fansite Clay Street has set up some humorous restrictions when discussing his new baby on their site. So if you're looking to express your opinion, you might as well stick here and stay far away from that scary place. At that board, you may only congratulate Clay in a certain thread, you must be respectful of Clay at all times, religion must never enter the conversation, and sexual orientation is forbidden from discussion at the board. And even still, with all of the rules and reminders to "play nice", the old harpies are still bashing each other or going crazy within minutes of the news. Here are 3 hilarious quotes already:
"I am sad for many reasons with this news. First, it saddens me for what has happened to the traditional family. I miss the days of when you dated, got married and then started a family. I realize invitro has helped many couples to bring life into this world but with anything I believe it can be taken too far. I am a fan of Clay's because of his self professed faith and beliefs. I have always supported him and his choices, however, this choice I cannot support. There is no doubt that this child will be loved and cared deeply for, but I hold strong to the value of marriage and strong to the family unit. I can no longer support him which makes me sad. I wish him and Jaymes the best, but totally disagree and am very disappointed in Clay."
"...what many fans are wondering is, is Clay really the person he has always said he is? A normal man and a grandmother-aged woman, not romantically involved but choosing to clinicly have a child together because each wants one seems selfish....and odd....to many. I'm trying to word this in a way that gets my point across but won't get edited.... ok, if Clay is who he says he is, is he going to marry someone else someday and have children with his wife? People are always joyous over the birth of a baby, but that's not the only concern here for some fans."
"Is anyone getting anything done today? I'm sure not....I can't seem to focus on anything else. I feel like a new grandmother! I'm squeeing and EEEing over the news! It just gives us one more thing to be proud of as a Clay fan. I forgot to say congratulations to Raleigh and Durham [Clay's dogs] on their new brother. Don't be jealous - Clay has more than enough love to hold you all."
Idiot Fans are Harrassing the Idols on Tour
Now don't get us wrong. Carly Smithson annoys us too. We don't particularly care for most of this year's top 10. But the always ridiculous American Idol fans (the very same ones who write us hate mail) are now resorting to harassing and stalking the Idols while they tour the country. Creepy. Idletard.com has a great story about all of their idiocy. A girl carried a sign that said, "I killed 12 million people after the American Idol finale. I’m looking for my last victim. Have you seen this man?" that included a picture of David Cook. One person asked David Archuleta to sign a piece of paper that David found to have his family's private phone number on it. And someone shot Michael Johns with a water gun before the Idols got back on their tour bus. Seriously now. We love to make fun of Idol, but we like even more to make fun of the moronic fans. They're certifiable. So watch out on tour, Idols. I'm sure this is only a taste of what's to come from the losers who watch this show.
Clay Aiken Freaks Out Idiot Fans By Possibly Impregnating Someone
It's all over the internet right now that Clay Aiken may have impregnated his 50-year old friend Jaymes Foster through in vitro fertizilation. TMZ says he's the father, but other sources aren't so sure. Either way, it's hilarious because the Claymates are FREAKING out. Some of them are jealous and some of the really conservative freaks are unhappy that he is having a kid out of wedlock. But whatever makes Clay happy is cool with us. As long as it also pisses off his idiot fans. Some choice excerpts:
"I cannot believe Clay to be that kind of person! Ever!...I am
absolutely convinced that he wouldn't do such a thing unless he was
married to the girl!..."
"I just now got home and saw this news! Omg, OMG!!!! When I get nervous I get hives.....Right now somebody pass the calamine lotion!!!!"
"Ok. I must admit I find this very squicky. If that makes anyone mad or upset, I'm sorry. I wish he'd done this the "traditional" way. You know, the way it's supposed to be... I guess I don't get why a guy from a fractured family would choose to bring a child into a fractured family."
"I know it's a different world, times are changing, etc.......but as I just told someone, I'm very old-fashioned (I mean, somebody who weaves things on a loom...who knew), and this is very upsetting to me. It may be time for me to really, seriously say goodbye to all this. Sorry , it's just the way I feel right now."
"I AM HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE PROCESSING IT ALL. MY IDEAL IS THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND WILL HAVE A CHILD THAT WILL LIVE IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE AND RESPECT. MAYBE IT IS A ROMANTIC LOVE (LORD KNOWS SHE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO KEEP HER HANDS OFF OF HIM SINCE 2005) OR A BEST FRIEND LOVE."
Classic! Claymates are the best people to make fun of in the history of the world. Hopefully more news comes out soon so we have more to mock.
Gaspy's Fans Cry Us a River
OK, this video is hilarious. Of course we wanted our little Gasper the Wheezy Ghost to win, but seeing the looks of shock and streams of tears from the kiddies is pretty funny. To all the kids from Utah, rememeber, Gaspy was the same kid you were beating up for lunch money a year ago.