Paula Abdul
Paula Abdul Still Too Drugged Out To Make a Decision
Well, So Much For a Comeback...
With all of the Paula Abdul pity in the air, someone had to kick her when she was down. Media IQ issued a study that said that Paula Abdul is the American Idol judge that most people fast forward through while watching their Tivo. This study is bullshit though, as they say that Randy is the most popular.
Let us explain what actually happens: People start watching Randy and forget they have to listen to the judges. So as he begins to talk, they hit fast forward, but it takes a few seconds because their brains are momentarily frozen while trying to comprehend the nonsensical comments from Randy. After fast forwarding, the viewers then hit Play when Simon comes back on, realizing that the judge comments are almost over.
Constantine Maroulis Gets His Ass Kicked
Finally, someone did it. Perpetual tool Constantine Maroulis got into a fight over Paula Abdul and lost, according to the NY Daily News.
“It was hilarious! Constantine got into it with this guy who was probably 6 inches shorter and 60 pounds lighter,” laughs an observer. “The guy body-slammed him and punched him in the face and then just stood up, straightened his tie, and said, ‘B—ch, don’t you ever,’ before walking away."
Anyone who punches Constantine is a friend of ours. We don't care that Constantine was defending Paula Abdul. The guy is just reprehensible and deserves it.
Victoria Beckham to Guest Judge on Idol
Rumors have been going around that Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) was going to replace Paula Abdul as the 4th judge on Idol. Thankfully, that only seems to be half true. Victoria has been called upon just to guest judge in at least 2 episodes, according to The Mirror. We don't need a 4th judge, Idol, so you better keep her as a guest. Or just do the right thing and fire Randy and Kara. No one cares about them.
Paula Abdul's Idol Deal Might Not Be Dead
If this is all a publicity stunt... well, good for Paula. She needs something to take people's attention away from her drug binges. Useless tool and Ryan Seacrest wannabe Billy Bush has tweeted that the deal with Idol might not be dead after all. Good Lord. Idol sure knows how to stay in the news, doesn't it? (Link via MJ's Big Blog)
TMZ Says Paula Abdul's Goodbye Tweet Shocked Idol
TMZ is reporting today that Paula Abdul's goodbye tweet where she said she is leaving American Idol even shocked the producers of the show. Paula was apparently given an offer that she didn't like, so she asked Idol for more money. The producers didn't agree and countered with another offer. But rather than talk to them, Paula shocked everyone by tweeting her goodbye. Idol took the tweet as serious and issued a statement saying she's out.
We wonder if Ms. Rehabdul was a little "happy" when she tweeted and cost herself a job. Either way, Randy and Kara should have been fired before Paula as they are much more useless and much less funny to watch.
Paula Abdul Says She Has Quit American Idol
The crazy has been taken out of American Idol :(
Paula Abdul just twittered this message...
PaulaAbdul...With sadness in my heart, I’ve
decided not to return to #IDOL. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent
What will Fox's team of psychiatrists now do to keep themselves busy? With Paula gone, who will Simon grope under the judges' desk? And who will the male contestants have sex with?
VFTW has mixed emotions about Paula leaving. On one hand, she's a useless, batshit crazy lunatic. But she's our useless, batshit crazy lunatic, so we'll miss her.
Only one thing's clear for sure: This is completely Kara Dioguardi's fault, along with everything else that"s wrong in life. It looks like we were right, Kara was clearly brought in last year as a replacement to get rid of the drug addled mess that is Paula Abdul. Idol just won't be the same without her drunken antics.
Kara DioGuardi Will Be Back to Judge American Idol 9... She Sure Loves Punishment
In a classic case of not knowing when to give up and save yourself the embarrassment, Kara DioGuardi has signed on to come back and judge season 9 of American Idol. Well, this oughta make America hate her even more. Maybe she'll actually learn to speak and read before the next season and not try to rely on her outdated looks and catch phrases about wanting to hump the contestants. Nah.
This just leaves Crybaby Abdul's contract up in the air. She has until a week from today to continue to pretend that she hasn't been signed yet for publicity before the taped auditions begin in December.
We like Paula. We really do. She's the VFTW judge for sure. But do we have to hear every 5 seconds if something changed in her saga to have her contract negotiated with Idol or if she might have another job? TMZ has been bouncing back and forth all weekend with tips. Apparently, Paula wants back on American Idol and turned down Dancing With The Stars. But then Paula talked to ABC about having her own variety show or a talent competition that she would produce. Either way, we do want Paula the train wreck back on our TVs, Idol or not... but will someone just give her a deal so the rumors can stop?