American Idol Updates
Kelly Clarkson Mocks Her Song "Already Gone" in Concert Last Night
Adam Lambert and Drake LaBry Split Up
Apparently, Adam Lambert has broken up with his boyfriend, Drake LaBry. Even though Drake didn't seem like much of a catch, bad move on Adam's part. He's probably believing the hype about himself and sees himself as a "sex symbol" who can have his pick of men. So we feel we need to step in and do what we do best here. No one with any taste would fantasize about a crater-faced, Liza Minnelli looking, double-chinned Twilight impersonator with a terrible haircut. It's our job to put Adam back in his place so he retains a realistic outlook on life. See, and people say we don't do anything positive. (News via MJ's Big Blog)
Michael Sarver Actually Gets a Record Deal. I Know, Right?
Seriously? Michael Sarver has signed with Dream Records, a small record company affiliated with The Dream Center, which does non-profit work around the country. It seems odd that a non-profit organization would have a record label, but we didn't see Michael Sarver making a profit from singing anyway, so this seems about right. The label is apparently a Christian label, and Michael plans on releasing a country album. At least he finally listened to us and dropped the pretense that he's an R&B singer. But hey, the guy got himself a record deal, which was more than we expected, so good luck to him and we'll see how it goes.
Happy Halloween to all of the Worsters out there. If you're looking for a last minute, scary costume that is guaranteed to give people nightmares, we have a suggestion for you. Be careful though, little kids may run away in terror.
Ryan Seacrest's Stalker Arrested
Ryan seacrest's alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah, was arrested yesterday inside the E! building. Uzomah had a knife and requested to talk with Ryan. Uzomah has in the past assaulted Ryan's security guard and shown up at the radio station where Ryan works. He's now being held in prison on a charge of felony stalking. Ryan has been granted a temporary restraining order. So we guess it's not just the Idols who have creepy stalkers. Remember kids, no matter how much you don't like someone, don't stalk them. Get a life.
Adam Lambert - "For Your Entertainment" Premieres
Well here's Adam Lambert's "official" single. Top 40 radio might possibly embrace this because it's so cookie cutter. His voice is so processed, anyone could be singing this. The song sounds like something Britney Spears was offered, but she passed on it because it was too cheesy. Except for the awful screaming in the bridge... that's just pure Adam. Guess we'll see what happens next.
Let the Failures Begin: Adam Lambert Debuts at a Pathetic #50 On the Hot 100
Every year, American Idol contestants debut near the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart with their new singles. For example, David Archuleta's "Crush" debuted at #2. Even "Light On" by David Cook debuted at #17. Adam Lambert's "Time for Miracles", however, debuted at #50. That's pretty pathetic. This is clearly due to the fact that no one will play this song on the radio since it's so cliche and terrible. Will Adam's next single do any better? Doubtful.
Sparkle Cows React to the Travesty of Adam Lambert's Album Cover
After seeing Adam Lambert's hilariously ugly album cover (see the post below this one), the Sparkle Cows are producing some hilarious reactions. While you laugh at arguably the worst Idol album cover of all time, also laugh at these comments from Adam's fans from his official website:
"I don't like it at all! he looks like a woman! no, no, no....very dissapointed..."
"Is this REALLY the cover? Of all the gorgeous pictures Adam has taken, I can't undertand why this was selected for his debut album...he looks like a woman, not the handsome man he really is. I'm so disappointed!"
"You wanted contraversy, well you got it! This is way to femine for me too. Is it air brushed? Are you naked? You are holding you face as a woman would. All that is good about this, is that it is not the Michelin Man suit! That doesn't look like a Rock God. I still love your singing, your personality, and those other looks."
"Okay...honestly...I LOVE Adam...I really do...but why so femmy?! It's like a bad Cher photo shoot from the 80's! WOW. Just...WOW."
Awesome. After the whole Already Gone/Halo situation, Kelly Clarkson decided to add a few bars of the Beyonce song to her performance last night to mock her own song. Pretty funny.